That’s right, I reviewed HP INK and BUBBLE WRAP.
It’s time to re-evaluate my recent life decisions.

This was my project this morning. It just occurred to me how stupid it was. Dumb homesickness.

It is not the first completely pointless project I’ve undertaken on days when I don’t feel like leaving my room and confronting the alien culture outside my door, but it’s by far the one that screams “GET OUTSIDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED VITAMIN D AND FRESH WATER, STUPID” the loudest.

What AM I doing, you ask? I’m reviewing and rating all my past purchases on Amazon.com. If that’s not a completely pointless activity, I don’t know what is. Maybe something like waterproofing desert hiking gear, or trying to improve the cheeseburger. Pointless. Time-passing. Life-wasting.

What other pointless things have I done to stay inside the English Bubble? Oh, let’s see…

  1. I organized the last 4 years of my iPhoto collection.
  2. I deleted all the inane things off my iPod’s camera roll (which now I’m regretting, since they show up whenever I connect the damn thing to iPhoto, because why. I hate iPhoto so much).
  3. I cleaned out my email (this really DID need to get done).
  4. I signed up for Twitter (pointless, although this was largely to help me stay in touch).
  5. I cleaned out and organized my computer files, moving everything into Evernote.
  6. I organized and labeled everything I moved into Evernote (I really like Evernote, btw).
But… why? WHY, BEN?
  1. It had to happen eventually, I suppose. (Cop-out!)
  2. I’m telling myself that the sooner I feel organized inside, the sooner I’ll be able to start this new part of my life (this is BS, I’m aware).
  3. I’m not paying anyone to do it for me, that’s for damn sure. (Cop-out!)
  4. It’s comforting. I’ve got a measure of control, and it’s all in English! It’s pictures of my friends, documents from the last chapter of my life, all the things that took me to where I am now. And I’m cleaning them out and packing them away for a fresh start. (…Bingo.)
Exactly why these types of activities are appealing to me are a mystery, but that last one is my best guess. It’s a little like how Jerry Grgich on Parks and Recreation was so happy licking all those campaign envelopes, and all Donna could do was stare and laugh. (Mind, I’m not comparing myself to Jerry. That guy is the worst! Just… this aspect. Maybe.) 

Fortunately, these types of projects are losing their appeal as my life outside my hotel door broadens and grows richer. (WELLLLLL… maybe not their appeal! I have a very strong natural urge to catalogue, organize, and inventory things in life. You may know this about me. But seeing as so many of them were waiting years until such a vast mental shift came along, I’ll assume it’s just a comfort thing and that I’ll be back to ignoring them like a real person in no time.) I can already feel my former opinions of these types of things start to reassert themselves: “Leave it! Who cares what you think on Amazon? You MUST have something more entertaining to do, right?! Don’t you need milk, or a magazine or a six-pack of beer, or friends, or, oh, ANYTHING, really??”

But for another hour, at least, you’ll be able to find me here, with my ham & cheese sandwich and bottled water, slowly chipping away at yet another unimportant, monumental task. Slowly righting my internal world, as it catches up with my transition halfway around the planet and into a new phase of my life.

I just had to stop a moment and reflect on how weird it was that I got motivated enough to do them all in a couple weeks. Thanks for listening. Don’t follow my example.

I promise this is the last task. Adventure awaits me this afternoon: apartment tours! And finding a copy shop for my lesson plans!

Only 172 purchases left to go!

P.S. I tried desperately to find a .gif of Jerry licking envelopes, but failed. ANOTHER POINTLESS TASK?? PROBABLY YES.